Since I grew up in a Christian home, it was easy to assume that I was a Christian. My family lives the Christian life; we have always been involved in church and it has always been an important part of our lives. I feel like I’ve always known the Lord, but I have also had regular battles with sin. A few areas I struggled most in were self-control, my speech, and anger. It wasn’t the outburst of anger, but anger really in my heart, mostly when I didn’t get my way.  I felt that this was a constant struggle as I was exhausted with this sin and aware of how it affected my relationships with my brothers. Often times I would just try to “do better” or change my behavior. That only worked for a while and then I would be confronted with this sin once again.

I have also struggled to persevere in a trial with my speech. At one point, my parents were noticing that people could not understand me, so I began a process of learning to articulate more effectively, a challenge that made school and reading difficult as well. Frequently, my mom would remind me to trust in Jesus to persevere, but I was often ready to give up and had a difficult time trusting in his sustaining grace.  I often found myself discouraged and tempted to isolate myself from others.

After having been weary with my continued struggles both in speech and anger, I remember waking up one morning and realizing that I needed help to change my heart and help to trust in the Lord. I remembered how my parents would pray for me and continue to tell me that it was only with God’s grace we could change. As I lay there in my bed I knew I needed Christ to help me overcome my sin and how to respond to my daily challenges. I realized that my anger, frustration, and self-pity was sin. I knew enough that Christ had died for my sins, but only then did I realize that I needed to confess it and how it really applied to me, and my life.  That Christ died for MY sins.  That is when I prayed and asked the Lord to take control of my life. I told him that I knew I couldn’t live without Him, that I needed his help, and I wanted Him to be at the center of my heart.  God answered my prayer that morning, and as a result I am more aware of my need for Him in my life. I can take my sin to Christ to help me, and while I still struggle at times, I don’t get easily angry or frustrated anymore either.  By God’s grace I’m learning how to respond biblically. God really used Pastor Rich’s message to convict me that I should be baptized to proclaim my faith in Christ. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to do this with my family and church family.